Them the rules...1 & 2!

So we've turned a corner!  Pea is well settled in.  I don't know this because Bean fully dotes on her.  Or because Pea saves her best smiles for her big sister!  No, I know this because Dear Hubby looked at me the other evening and said "it feels like we're getting there!"  So I thought I'd revisit the rules.  Remind myself how we got here!

Rule #1:  Start the day at 7am.  Wake the babe & start the Eat, Wake, Sleep cycle.
I did this with both my girls.  It's not easy...not throwing the alarm across the room when your sleep's been broken.  But, it does mean that the day gets underway.  And there is a better chance of baby getting enough milk in the day to make sleeping at night (did I mean through?!) more likely.  It slowly eases the family into living.  It also means that a bodyclock has been set...to this day it's very rare that Bean gets up before 7am!  Not bad for a 2 year old!

Eat, Wake, Sleep...why?  Well, it's not normal go to sleep after eating - I only do it when I've really pigged out & it's a Sunday!!  It prevents a bad habit, of feeding to sleep, developing.  After eating, little one will have more energy from the milk.  It just makes sense.  Oh, the obvious exceptions to the rule are bedtime & night time feeds.  This is the time when I put my babes to bed with full tums...you've guessed why!  I'm chasing that elusive full night's sleep!

Rule #2: Establish a regular bed time - try to keep the sleep cues the same.
A regular bed time just kind of makes sense...it's starting as you mean to go on.  I often think that getting good habits established now, is much easier than trying to do it when they are more aware.  It also helps me to know where I am in the day & get much needed time alone with Dear Hubby!

Why keep the sleep cues the same? Think about when you go to bed...you go at roughly the same time each night, right?!  Now what do you do to get into bed?  PJ's on...wash face...brush teeth...read a bit...lights out...snuggle with Dear Hubby...lie there a while...last trip to the loo...dream land!  Or something like that...?  Again, fairly much the same each night, right?!  Babies are just little people!  It will help them settle to sleep.

I've had to think quite hard about when Pea's bedtime is.  Bean used to have a bath, so that she was ready to have milk at 7pm.  With Pea that didn't work for us.  It meant we were staying up later to give enough time between that feed & the last feed.  Which meant tired & very grumpy parents!  Which meant unhappy home! 

So now, she's feeding by 6.15 & is settled in bed well before 7pm.  I had to rejig the earlier part of the evening...to make it work.  But, Bean is now getting much needed Daddy time, while I'm feeding Pea.  And, I get to tuck her in, which I couldn't before.  Chilled out evening.  Earlier bed time for Dear Hubby & I.  Great feed (for Pea) when we go to bed.  Happy, happy family!

The net result is this...we are all refreshed & jumping with energy to enjoy the simple things in life.  Like Dear Hubby bobbing about on the open sea, with Bean, in a boat.  After tucking in to a seafood braai or BBQ for the non-South African speakers amongst you! Glorious, well spent Bank Holiday!  Happy, happy family!

Woo hoo...it's a Bank Holiday!

And I get to spend 3 fun-filled days with my family!  Bliss!  We hope you have fun too.

No man is an Island...

This week I have enjoyed, & lived in the benefit of, community.  The Stamp's thrive in community.  We revel in it.  We believe it's vital for our daughters to grow up in it.  No man is an island.  But why?

Last time I exclaimed - there are no sick days for mothers!  How wrong am I?  The offers came flying in...offers of breaks, of entertaining Bean, of company over coffee.  All the things that make sickness bearable - especially when caring for a young brood!  True community cares enough to circle around the weak, to help them get strong.  Like the water buffalo!

I once heard some teaching about the water buffalo.  They live like no other community.  At the watering hole, the strong ones gather on the edge of the group.  Guarding.  Protecting.  Enabling the weaker ones to get a good drink & get strong.  As the weaker ones gain strength, they move.  They take their place.  Moving towards the edge of the group, allowing the once stronger ones to move in and drink.

And a community with faith in Jesus, is a unique expression of Jesus' love for his followers.  It screams & shouts REAL love.  It makes real, the intangible concepts of faith.  We want our girls to witness this.  To have their lives shaped by it.  To see Jesus in it.

My first challenge is to overcome, in myself, the one thing that destroys community...independence!  Our second challenge is...to raise independent girls that thrive in community!  I'll keep you posted on how that works out!!

When the Bug bites...

Today I experienced the one thing that all mum's dread...waking up & feeling ILL!  The bug has bitten.  At least I think it's a bug...it could also be some dodgy pate I ate yesterday!  You don't get sick days in this job! Thankfully dear hubby's boss is sympathetic (thanks fab mum- & dad-in-law!) and gave him time off to set me back on my feet! So, one simple breakfast in bed & a warm shower later I was ready(ish) to face the day with 2 kids under 3yrs & the stomach flu!

What a perfect opportunity to put into practice that partnership in parenting I was talking about last week.  Doesn't God just sometimes stop you in your tracks to LEARN a lesson well?!!  I'm content for it to be that way...I need to learn things well!

So, today I am forcing food & drink down - so that Pea can eat!  And I'm trying to work out just what I can do to entertain Bean.  Especially after I've just been told "Mister Maker is my best friend..."  Oh, the guilt...the child has watched far too much Beebies!  Hey ho...maybe the bug will have had it's fun and moved on tomorrow.  Until it does.  Nothing to do, but ease into the enforced slow pace.  Enjoy the simple luxury of time with my family...without feeling pressure to rush around.  Sleep when the girls let me.  And plan how to make a family meal of the BRAT (Banana ,Rice, stewed Apple & Toast) diet recommended for poorly tums!

TGI Friday...

So this week has been a "hang on in there & survive" week!  Pea has had a growth spurt...2 hourly breastfeedings are NOT for the faint hearted.  It's had me reaching for the bottle!  No, not THAT bottle...the bottle of the AVENT variety (or some other well known brand!).  Only to top Pea up at my bedtime feeding.  But it's a bottle none the less.

Life in the Stamp house has proved challenging for Bean.  Mummy is tired and ratty.  Pea is forever attached to Mummy.  What's a girl to do?  Listen to music - The Music Machine is the favourite at the moment - & practice dancing around the living room.  She's quite a mover.  And I'm not sure the living room carpet will ever be the same again!

But today I'm not going to talk about balancing the needs of my 2 small children...I'm not going to talk about introducing a top-up formula feed, when I have been so set on exclusive breastfeeding...I'm not going to offer any complaints.  When we decided to have to children, we asked for all these things.  My children are one of the most amazing gifts I've been given.  I'm grateful for them.  I love them.

Today I want to talk about my parenting partner.  Dear hubby has amazing instincts with parenting.  Even on the practical stuff...like feeding.  With Bean, he became an expert in breastfeeding, so that he could coach me.  Or discipline...just how does he get Bean to obey first time?! This week, I have learned, I'm not parenting alone.  I have a partner.  We need to work together.  To win at this parenting lark...my parenting partner MUST be prized!  Naturally, as the "professional" mum, I have more time to research stuff.  I'm also the one implementing our parenting 75% of the time!  But dear hubby has a unique perspective, that cuts right to the root of most problems. 

So next week, I will be striving to prize dear hubby & parent together with him!

See you all next week...I'll let you know how the bottle works!!!

Hmm...temptation!

We had 3 blissful, full night sleeps last week! Someone even complimented me on looking "so fresh" for a mum of 2!!!

Trouble is I've worked out what brought on this treat...some friends (knowing my penchant for fruits of the vineyard) gave me some LOVELY wine for my birthday. Last week, said wine was enjoyed, on 3 nights. Yep, I did the math. Wine = sleep!

Here's my temptation...I could abuse this knowledge.

So desperate for sleep am I that I am tempted to indulge. Every night. Problem is dear hubbie doesn't like a drink, as much as I do. So, I would be drinking alone. Not a good habit (for me) to develop. Poor Pea, must also be getting a hit. If I indulged am I setting her up for a bad habit too? Will she wake with a fuggy head, after a I've enjoyed my vino? I can't be sure.

What am I going to do? Go back to my rules! Work on reducing the feed in the middle of the night! And have a glass of wine when I want one!

On another note...dear hubbie took Bean to the airport, to look at planes today! He did have to collect someone too - they weren't just plane spotting! Dear hubbie has the travel bug at the moment. He's reading a fantastic book by Rob Lilwall, Cycling Home from Siberia. We're raising our girls to (eventually) leave us. Be independent. Today, my girl's world just got a little bigger. Shame she was disappointed with the planes...she was a tad confused that they were much bigger than the ones in the sky! She eventually made sense of it. Lying in the garden, gazing up at the sky..."look Daddy, a tiny plane!"

Surviving the first 6 weeks...

So, we have always said the first 6 weeks, post-baby, is a dog show! 

The first 6 months are tough, but by then you kinda know what your doing & what baby needs.  So, how DO you survive those first few weeks?  How do you enjoy the magic of a newborn? 

Personally, I need to know what I am doing, when.  So I have some golden rules that I (try to!) follow, to make life with bubba more calm.  Obviously, newborns are slightly a law unto themselves...and they have so many growth spurts or developmental leaps that it can feel like you don't know which end to feed & which end to clean!!!  So, when I felt like I didn't know Pea or what she needed, I returned to these basics.  Focused on them.  Eased Pea into the structure.  Enventually, I'd calm down & feel like the experienced mum that I am!  A calm mum, a happy home does make!

The Rules

• Get the day started at 7am!  Wake babe & follow the EAT, WAKE, SLEEP cycle
• Establish a regular bed time - try & keep sleep cues the same
• Make sure they always take a full feed (which also helps them to not get used to falling asleep when feeding)
• Before you climb into bed, wake Bub & give them milk

Second time around, looking after Pea has been a tad easier...we've just faced some other challenges. But those are for another day!

Hope you have a good weekend!  We've got a fun one planned...will be back next week with more on the rules & other stuff!

Introducing...

Introducing...

We are a young family...me, dear husband, the two-year old Bean & 8-week old baby Pea!  We're surviving the arrival of Pea and wanted to talk about how life is for us.  We are people of faith, fun-loving, beach bumming, a blend of cultures. 

Me - I work at home.  I worked as a Community Children's Nurse, before we moved to be near the ocean.  I try to keep my hand in nursing.  But consider myself a professional wife & mum (in that order!). I love Jesus, I want my daughters to as well.  British born & bred.

Dear husband - works hard, plays harder.  Man of wisdom, strength & the biggest wind-up merchant you could wish to meet!  Life is always fun when he's around!  He loves Jesus, and leads us well.  Mostly South African, with a hint of many other nations!

Our philosophy on family life - kids are part of the family, not the centre.  We do things together, we want our girls to have a go.  We honour Jesus.

Bean is kind, nuturing, half monkey, half girl.  Excited about starting (pre!)school after "Pistmas".  Cheeky, but with a killer smile she'll wield to try and get out of trouble!  She was a dream baby, slept through early.  She keeps us on our toes and melts our hearts in equal measure.

Pea - just feeling like we've got to know her.  We have been given another dream babe.  She put herself on a 3-hourly routine, from Day 1.  She eats well, sleeps well.  The most peaceful child you could ever wish to meet.  Mind, she needs to be chilled to slot into The Stamp Family.

This is an opportunity to share what works for us, with 2 young children.  How to keep sane, when it feels like your grip on reality is fading.  How to keep smiling.  How to get The Baby to sleep, when we need them to (feeling rather jubilant that we're 2 nights in to sleeping through the night)!

I hope you enjoy & join in.  Feel free to comment, or ask questions - if I don't know the answer I'll try and find it out.